||[Oct. 11th, 2006|01:09 am]
ive got to get some trail mix.
the bag of dried fruit would work too.
the mission is progressing slowly. there have been some setbacks.
it is hot. i am uncomfortable.
today i woke up with little time to spare. i had clean clothes and a towel, though, and took a shower and brushed my teeth. i had minutes remaining when i left. the bus delivered me to work fifteen minutes before my shift started. right on schedule. i had a cup of coffee and changed into my uniform and got on the line. it was slow during the lunch hour, but i kept up. at 1ish, i started panning up my bread and counting what kinds of bread i needed to make and how much. luckily, chere had made quite a bit and the day had been slow, so i only had to make a little bit of honey oat bread.
i cleaned the line and chatted with misty mcpeak, the new sandwich artist. she is sweet and friendly and smiles. her personality has really started to manifest itself. we laughed and threw towels at each other. when i emerged from the men's bathroom with my uniform on, she said, "oh, you're working today?" and i said, "no, i just came to see you." so i think that might be construed as me flirting with her, which is consistent with what i think as well. i'm only having fun though. its sheer boredom. later i asked her if she would like to go to a party on friday and she declined politely -- her parents wouldn't allow her to. this strikes me as very odd. she is 23 years old and, yet, her parents are in control of her doings. she explained it as that she had been in a lot of trouble at a younger age and they keep a pretty close eye on her now, which still doesn't make any sense as she's a grown adult. i asked if they take care of her and she seemed to agree with that, so maybe they give her some kind of money and will take it away if they feel she's acting out of bounds. after she left chere asked me why i'd ask her to a party, and explained it as that "that girl has probably never had sex let alone been to a party," and i tried to brush her aside by saying that it wasn't as though i was asking her to the party, like some kind of childish, adolescent attempt to hold her under my sway. i just don't want to go by myself. then i explained to chere how liz won't go with me because she wants to stay home and play world of warcraft. chere suggested i break liz' computer. of course we know where that will lead.
chere had asked me to break down the ice on the line. this consists of removing all the plastic inserts full of meat, cheese and vegetables and getting at the stainless steel surface underneath with a scraper and forcibly removing the frost and ice from the surface. there's usually a lot of food debris and general gunk down there, and i had to stop pretty frequently to help customers, but i got it done with time to spare before mariah arrived and relieved me.
so i got all my bread made and was getting ready to leave when mariah arrived without a uniform. without any uniform to speak of, nor keys to the office where a spare might be. mariah is the assistant manager, and she had the nerve to show up to work without a uniform and ask me to cover for her. i was pretty incensed, but i felt as though there wasn't a choice. what if we got inspected? we would fail. aside from that, the fact remained that mariah didn't have any other clothes to wear besides her street clothes. so i agreed.
so i stayed for another 3 hours. and around 50 customers came and went through that time. it was a busy night in comparison with the rest of the week and i didn't have time to get any of my veggie pre-prep done. there are a lot of reasons things didn't get done. the big one is that, had the schedule been unaltered and had nad not called in sick, i would have stayed until 6:30PM while nat (or mariah in this case) would have arrived at 5PM to pick up the slack while i hauled ass and got caught up. since this never happened, i was stuck without a personal break or even a minute to get my job done in time. luckily shawn arrived and didn't seem to mind that nothing was done and even understood to some degree. finally, at the end of my day, i counted my tips, changed out of uniform and sat in the lobby for a minute. shawn was playing the theme to "noir" on the stereo. i had completely forgotten about that cartoon.
the ride home was completely uneventful. today was completely uneventful. nothing special happened. nothing spectacular. it was another regular day. i was very hungry when i got home and i made myself some pasta. liz made some kind of orange-flavored sweet rolls which had 2g of trans fat per serving. it tasted gross and i only had one. i didn't like it. my pasta wasn't too good either, but it filled me up.
i barely even feel alive these days. i know that sounds painfully adolescent, but its true. i just no longer feel the same way as i once did about anything. what i was once passionate about i am now disinterested in. of course i still want to make music and i have my goals, but i am so unmotivated to pursue them in a meaningful way. i wish i could get a haircut and get a better job. maybe this weekend i can get that haircut.